The more you choose to be with someone, the more you will discover things you won’t like and we’re likely to do five things: don’t deal with it, deal with the source, deal with another person, deal with the right person or deal it from within. There’s God’s way and there’s more that are not from him.
Proverbs 19:11, NIV – “A person’s wisdom yields patience, it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense.
James 3:13, ESV – “Who is wise and understanding among you? By his good conduct let him show his works in the meekness of wisdom.”
Meekness is to remain in power and showing love (Pt. Brian Kairuz). We’ve been given power by Christ to do all things (face challenges with joy, encourage one another, give love) according to his Word. The power is not for us to abuse either for our own selfish ambitions or out of our jealousy, but it is to be used well for glorifying the Lord alone.
James 3:17, ESV – “But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere.”
When we ask wisdom from God, we need to act on it justly. Here’s what the Lord showed me in regard to how other Christians deal with offense:
- They Don’t Deal With It. (IGNORE)
Probably the safest way is to ignore it, but at times when it’s heavy, you really need to deal with it justly.
2. They Deal With The Source. (CONFRONT)
Dealing directly with the source is a good choice, but it needs wisdom from the Lord in knowing how to openly regard the situation by resolving any conflict you have with the source without partiality and with much love.
1 Timothy 1:5, ESV – “The aim of our charge is love that issues from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith.
3. They Deal With The Wrong Person. (GOSSIP)
Persons who don’t care about your spiritual growth will never make your situation any better. In fact, they can do the opposite. Negative perspectives can arise out of a conversation with the wrong person.
4. They Deal With The Right Person. (COUNSEL)
Most Christians are surrounded with a lot of accountability from parents to church leaders and small groups, but it’s best to seek our Mighty Counselor first, Jesus, for those who seek Him above all things, He promised, “I will give you a mouth and wisdom, which none of your adversaries will be able to withstand or contradict.” (Luke 21:15, ESV) The rest of the people accountable to your life are there to confirm what God had already said to you when you lack faith.
5. They Deal It From Within. (ADJUST)
At times, an offense tells us that we need to deal with our emotions. We can be too sensitive and magnify the situation instead of magnifying God. No matter what happens, let go and let God take control of that offense, so He can turn that into something better—a compassionate heart that overlooks offense and a powerful piece of testimony that will give more glory unto the Lord.